Mourning and Comfort

Mourning and Comfort. The two often go together. When we see mourning our reaction is comfort. But is there comfort really?

As I got the news of one of my best friends’ passing, I stood in unbelief. I passed the iPhone to my wife, pointing just in case she missed it. “This must be wrong information” were some of my first words. As they proved to be true, I grieved. I mourned the hardest I have ever mourned for somebodies death. “Too young” and “the best guy” were two of my best arguments for unbelief as I left for the funeral and even on return. 20 hours of driving still isn’t enough to mourn properly.

I was blessed with the opportunity to be an honorary paul bearer, which ended up more meaningful than I knew. First I was fortunate to bring in his Dog and leaving I carried Anduril(Sword of Aragorn) with my best friend Ryan. In these moments I could do nothing but grieve. “He knew the Lord” and  “he beat us to Jesus” were the words I heard from the pastor but yet I mourned. In those moments, only one verse came to mind, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matt 5:4). This verse was always the bane of me preaching the beatitudes, so I would quickly jump over it. But now I get it. In these moments I mourned and saw mourning. I saw the mourning of my friend’s parents and the strong mourning of his wife. But yet, as the eulogy was spoken, I felt hope. I felt Jesus. The eulogies painted a picture of the gospel that was robust and overflowing. My friend’s witness to the life and grace of Jesus was evident in the very people giving the eulogies. In these I felt mourning yet I felt comfort. Why did I sense this?

Of course there is comfort in the fact that my friend is with Jesus. In our question of “WHY HIM?” I immediately thought, “Why not?” This was a man who loved Jesus to his core and wanted nothing less than to be with him forever. But yet I grieved. Yet, I cried and yet I sobbed. I could not stop grieving, even though I knew he deserved to be with Jesus in such paradise. Maybe it was selfish or maybe it was because he left his wife here or maybe it was the gigantic hole he left in the world. No one shined Jesus’ light brighter.

So here I am. Stuck with grieving and being comforted. Here’s what I know: Kingdom people who mourn are blessed because they have comfort. Does this mean that we don’t mourn and with great intensity? No, maybe we even mourn more because of a great witness to a hurting, broken world is now lost. Because he was so good and because we could see Jesus in him, maybe we mourn all the harder. But yet we have comfort. I’m Stuck in this dilemma. But, maybe this isn’t the worst place to be. In fact, maybe it is the most real place to be because this is where God’s kingdom invades this world. Mourning only happens in brokenness. Complete healing and resurrection only happen in Jesus. When we sense both I think we are in the right place.

Nathan buddy, the world is a little less bright and little less tasteful now that you have left it. There was not a man on this earth who knew how to be as genuinely human in Christ’s hands as you. You’ve taught me a lot and wish you could be here to teach me still, but nonetheless I am still learning from you.

 

The Art or Science of Becoming a Dad

I am a Dad! I have to get used to saying/admitting that. I think that’s why pregnancy is 9 months. The transition from not to am is bizarre and complex. From physical to mental to spiritual, every area of your life transitions. 

My wife is in pain. She will be the first to admit it. The first 6 months seemed like a breeze(for her) and now the pain is settling in for the last stretch. But, it seems I have had more sickness over the past 6.5 months than her. Contracting a rare virus and a sinus infection was weird. Our house is even changing. But to think that the baby will soon go from the inside to the outside of the womb blows my mind. Just the fact that the only thing separating me from the baby is some skin and womb and stuff. Everytime she kicks my hand, the more real it gets.

From physical to mental. The physical helps the mental. From Nadine really really showing now to the baby kicking me, it all helps to mentally prepare for a third party arrival. But so did the puppy we got a while ago. Who’s decision was that?

And Spiritual. I think the majority of this is yet to come. I do find myself automatically praying for my child during pray times and throughout the day. But the idea of parenting is just that, a simple idea. “Raising a child in the way she should go” soon takes on physical parenting form. Watching my good friend parent his 3 children at a spray park was hilariously awakening. From calling at them to stop climbing on the equipment to chasing his son who was running away to the “dry” park nearby, it was a hoot to watch. But, then it hit me. I have to parent. My friend made a sly remark as two little feet made wet marks on the cement, “Remember the time there were only one set of footprints?” The child just scampered away to be peppered by more water, but it hit me. I have a Spiritual responsibility with prayer. I have to teach my kids, for the first time, who JEsus is and why he matters. I become an evangelist and teacher and preacher. I bear the all the spiritual gifts for my children. Not because I am gifted in them all, but because I’m Dad. Of course Mom will bear the ones I suck at thankfully, but their little vulnerable soul is in my hands and my job is to recognize and hand them back to God daily. 

So I just wrote things I know nothing about. They are still ideas. Though i’ve held countless babies and played extensively with nephews and nieces. But, as the sermon I am I about to preach to others declares, “We are more than conquerors through him who loves us.” Show me the love Jesus

 

Just Keep praying… praying… praying

Our small group just switched up our focus. From a study on James to narrowing in on prayer. The new premise is around circling the promises that God has and praying into them. Simple, right! 

Of course one could take the idea and go off in anger, saying ridiculous things like, “I’ll circle the Ferrari at West-Edmonton mall,” in complete sarcasm, at which time I proceed kicking them in the face (more sarcasm). Of course the words of Jesus were not simply, “whatever you ask you get,” but whatever you ask “in my name” or “according to my will.” The problem is that we think God’s will is some ominous and far off plan that we know nothing about. 

Thessalonians is clear, the will of God for us is to be sanctified (1 Thess 4). But the question of course, is this: What is God’s specific will for me in that sanctification? Well . . . Let’s begin with the base of sanctification, namely, surrender. In order for God to sanctify us, we must give up ourselves to God so God’s will can take up residence in and through us. 

Now that God’s will is at work and he can do as he wishes, then we look at what he promises to his people. We can look at scripture to see his promise of peace or adoption or care etc. But then we look specifically at individuals and how he created them. If we honour creation(with the knowledge of brokenness and sin) then we need to look at who “I” am and how God has made me, along with an assessment of my current situation. For example: You are unsatisfied with the job you have, so we must ask, what’s your passion and what are you good at? Then we ask for God’s peace in letting go of the one job and the revealing of another. Maybe he gives peace to stay put for now and maybe he tells us to move on, but in any case, he draws us closer to himself (THIS IS THE MAIN POINT AFTERALL).

This is the type of promise we circle to pray into everyday. The premise is God actually cares for us and hears our prayers. He is a God who created us for things, namely his work and purpose. SO, when we are dissatisfied or see a need in our life that needs prayer, maybe, just maybe, it’s God saying, “Its time seek me and what I have for you.” This is circling something in prayer and not letting it go. Once we find that thing that the Lord is leading us to, we must claim it. If the Lord has for me, why shouldn’t I? Simple right? 

As I think about prayer, I can easily get confused or angry. I should be able to tell God what I want, whatever it is, and he’ll give it, right? That’s what I often feel (thanks to sin and culture), which leads to disappointment in God. When, it is really my beliefs that have the problem. I need to actually see that God has some pretty great promises for me and us, the church. And in fact, they are better and richer than we could ever ask or imagine. 

 

Overwhelming Work

I’ve been asking The Lord to speak to me lately. As I sat yesterday and asked him what he had, I couldn’t stop thinking of work. I have a lot on my plate right now and it can overwhelm me. But in that moment and in the noise I heard him. He said this: “Do not be consumed by your work, but consume it.”

My time in psalms lately has been about a good and conquering God. If he is truly good and conquering then that is the Spirit he has given me. So yesterday I went out to attack and consume my work in the name of Jesus. Needless to say a lot got done, but even if not I went in peace. I went in peace knowing The Lord is my strength. Though there is a lot and always will be a lot to do, work is never meant to consume me. I am meant to consume it. I am meant to be more of myself in work. Yet, I believe the lie that work is just work, even though it’s The Lord’s work. But, work is actually an extension of myself to serve The Lord in his kingdom. He is working and bringing his kingdom. He is saving people and healing them. He is doing the work. I just get to be a part of that. What an honour.

That’s why he gives us sabbath. He gives us sabbath to remind us that our work doesn’t bring salvation. It never can. We are created to enjoy The Lord in work and play. Hebrews 3-4 talk about this rest that still stands. The author reminds us that the people of God enter that rest. It’s just waiting there for us to enter it. We simply need to align ourselves in that rest and know that it is The Lord who does the work. Then we continue with our busy selves not in the stress of the world but in the joy of The Lord.

 

Pleasing God

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. (Hebrews 11:6 ESV)

It takes faith to please God. This verse shows faith is twofold. First, we must believe God exists. Second, we must believe he rewards those who seek him. We often can believe in God. Many of us call out to him, even if only occasionally or in distress. But, to believe he rewards us for seeking him is another level of faith.

A lot of us believe that God is simply angry and desires to destroy us for every mistake we make. We picture him on the edge of his throne waiting to bolt us with sickness or pain. That’s when we need to read Hebrews 10. The priests used to make sacrifices all the time because there was sin all the time. Jesus, the perfect sacrifice, came once for all, so that, when you turn to him all your sin is covered, from past to present to future. But, we must diligent seek him.

This proves he is not simply angry and waiting to smite us. No, he is arms open wide, giving us an amazing grace we do not deserve. He is a good God and desires to reward those who seek Him.

It is funny to think that God is pleased to reward us, but that is fact. Let’s please God.

 

Heavenly Perfection and Earthly Brokenness

I find this ridiculous.

I get full of compassion yet anger, joy yet sorrow. I get a feeling of “How can this work?” and “Wow the love!” Our world is so full of the tension between heavenly perfection and earthly brokenness. The Kingdom certainly is and needs to break in. This is why scripture says that all creation groans and that we groan in suffering and in knowledge and hope that Jesus is bringing his kingdom on earth as it is in heaven (Rom 8; Matt 6).

 

Spiritual Gifts and Our Weekly Gathering

What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up. (1 Corinthians 14:26 ESV)

As I read Corinthians, I believe it is the furthest off from describing where church is at. We often read 1 Corinthians and apply it to us by putting great restrictions on the gift of tongues and women and whatever else we pull out of it. But, the reality is that we don’t have the same problems as the Corinthians. They were wild in the Spirit and eager for the Spirit’s manifestations and with that here was a little chaos that ensued.

This is not the case for every church. In fact, I have been at churches and services where the manifestation of the Spirit is wild. But it is as though we hit extreme while missing the mark. We either seek the manifestations of the Spirit a little too eagerly or not enough. But the question is not, Who has the Spirit more? But, are we building people up?

We are not good at building people up. We are hardly active citizens for the kingdom of God, but most of the time, spectators. We sit at church and look forward at the stage (we make churches like an in adequate theatre after all), hardly getting out of our seat and barely getting passed the weather and “God bless you.”

But if we take this verse from 1 Corinthians, the principle and heart of Paul’s message become obvious and addresses the purpose of our church gatherings, namely this: “Let all things be done for building up.” O that we would each take up a hymn, psalm, lesson, revelation, tongue, or interpretation before we arrived at church to build each other up. Maybe it looks like spending time in prayer during the week to which we hear from god and he gives us a scripture or word for someone, or the church and Sunday was spent hearing those revelations from God. That would be a church service. Instead the encouragement is left up to the worship leader choosing the right music and video. It is up to the pastor to build a great message everything week. How draining are we to those people?

How can we be active participants for God’s kingdom at our gatherings?

 

Not Valuing Myself

But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. (Acts 20:24 ESV).

Paul proclaims this right before he heads to Jerusalem. It has been made known to him that he was a about to suffer more than ever and die for his faith. He is telling a group of people whom he has invested his life into, urging them to keep the gospel. This is his death message.

If I could say one thing before I die to a group of people I love and have invested life into, what would I say? Even today, could I say anything close to this verse? Do I count my life as valuable to myself? I think I do. I think I value my life beyond the call of God. I know this because of my fear of death. This fear shows me I value my life for myself. Maybe one day I can be like Paul.

I spent the weekend speaking at a youth retreat on Identity. I spent a fair amount of time with a sock monkey who represented my old self and me as the new self. As I read this passage in Acts this morning, I realized this: My new self would say this. If my old self didn’t get in the way so much, I would be able to see that. My Spirit got excited to see that this morning.

Our old self is the one that died when we came to God in Jesus and the new self is what God has done and is doing. Oh that I could be and see my new self more consistently. Then maybe I could be like Paul! and not value my life for myself, but my desire be that I may finish the course and ministry The Lord has given me, all “to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.”

 

Belief as Righteousness

He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. That is why his faith was “counted to him as righteousness.” But the words “it was counted to him” were not written for his sake alone, but for ours also. It will be counted to us who believe in him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord, who was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification. (Romans 4:19-25 ESV)

Sometimes we doubt Jesus and his resurrection. Mainly because we were not witnesses. Seeing is believing in our culture. I doubt. These are my dark times. I ask, Is Jesus really worth it? Or am I being played the fool?

Belief is counted as righteousness. Abraham was not counted righteous by his works or circumcision, just as I am not saved by works or baptism. He believed in his God as he got super old and his wife was barren. He believed the promise given to him, namely, that he would be the Father of many nations. This belief was counted as righteousness. He never saw until it happened. He didn’t even have Scripture. Yet he believed.

Paul tells us that we then can be counted as righteous, if we Believe in Abraham’s God who raised Jesus from the dead, the Jesus who died in our place, for our sin.

No exhaustive list of to dos, but simple belief. This is refreshing. As the prayer of a sinner earlier in scripture says, “I believe, help me in my unbelief.”

 

Longing for the End

As a follower of Jesus I always want to get know him better. One of the best ways is scripture. As I began the book of revelation I was fearful of the amount of suffering that it talks about. But for some reason, as I got to chapters 14 and 15, I got excited. The suffering got more intense but I got excited. The question is why? One word. Hope.

When we read the book of revelation we know we are coming to the end. The pages are running out and the story is surging to a riveting end. Seniors understand this well. They get so excited about the idea that they’ll finally die and go to their true home, with Jesus in eternity. It is there where there is no more pain, nor death. I guess my excitement may come from knowing chapters 20 and on. The passage I was reading today was about bowls of suffering, but the comment is made, these are the last of the wrath of God.

This aspect that the end comes on a day where I’m tired and sore and in a little bit of a grumpy mood. To read of this suffering of the world that signifies the end gets me excited, because I know the Kingdom of God is nearer then ever and one day I will feel no pain, sadness, grumpiness, but live in eternal joy with The Lord.

This thought helps me live joyfully and thankfully in today. Hope. Hope builds courage to continue on with everyday, no matter what today brings. So everyday I pray I find hope.