When you look at my last post you may say, “Wow! That was a long time ago.” To those who continuously check my blog, I say sorry for that. But, let me explain this interesting journey I have been on.
I started reading a book called, The Imitations of Christ, by Thomas a Kempis and if you have ever read any of his material, he focuses a lot on humility. The second chapter hit me in regards to my blog. There was a statement, “If you wish to learn and appreciate something worth while, then love to be unknown and considered as nothing” (9). To put it in context, Kempis is talking of fighting pride and thinking more highly of others than yourself. At this point I asked myself, “Why am I writing my blog?” I have been aggressive in creating a nice looking blog and commenting on other people’s blogs so they would read mine, but to what end. My motives have been mixed.
On one hand I desired to reflect on culture and speak from a Christian world view and also post sermons and thoughts from sermons. But I had this conflicting motive that wanted to be known. I wanted to spread prove to the world I could write and had ideas that the world would love to hear. I desired fame. I feel weird even writing that out. Of course, in order to becomes a writer that may be necessary, but my heart was full of pride. I feel as though this has been a part of my life all along. I want to be known. In the end my life is one of anxiety and anxiousness. It is a life that is not content.
Identity. I am forgetting who I am. I am in Christ. He is who I am. Why do I need to be known. My purpose is not to be known, my purpose is in Christ and to make him known.
Kempis says, “All men are frail, but you must admit that none is more frail than yourself,” meaning I can sin at any moment. Who knows how long I can hold up before I relapse into sin? Into pride?
So this is why I have not written a post. I am working through motives. I probably will continue blogging regularly again. But I will probably sift through my motives each time I write. Until then, Blessings, Merry Christmas. May this season be one of Joy and Love in Christ. May you sense his Spirit, our Emmanuel.
For His Kingdom 