Dad Mental Health

This morning I did an ad for a whole being health and wellness seminar my church is hosting. It caused me to reflect a bit more on my mental health the last little while. Change has been the centre of my family’s year. We moved, I changed jobs and therefore churches as well. Going from small town to city and from a larger to smaller house had our family buzzing.

Our four year old will still mention our old house and old church to declare how much she misses it and the moving process was incredibly emotional. Nothing like packing your entire life up to cause a crying breakdown. The needle that broke our four year old’s back, or heart I guess, was deflating my wife’s medicine ball. Did you know? Those darn things are the slowest to deflate? Well, we isolated the two children in a room with pizza and paw patrol, the two “p’s” of good parenting, and kept working.

Then, a newborn came. I thought I was doing alright with everything. Our newborn is healthy and doing super well. Our two other girls were loving her to bits. We had people helping us out. Everything was going fine. Except. . . Except I didn’t feel like it was going well.

I had taken things one step at a time but it all finally hit me. I couldn’t shake my negative thoughts and mental health was poor. I needed something.

I have a new support group through my district of churches and through that I sensed God was calling me his child who was loved and from that I knew I was even spiritually okay. God extended grace to me in my quiet times with him when there was no room, it seemed, for quiet time.

So what to do? Well, I’m not sure I know fully, but a couple things changed and helped my outlook. Routine and doing the things I love.

I would NEVER have proclaimed the benefits of routine in my early 20’s but man alive, getting back to work, getting a bit active, getting the girls into their programs, all helped brighten my day. Not only that, but it’s mostly things I love. I collaborated with a few people for various ministries in the church and have several speaking engagements lined up right away. And next I’ll be spending time with some great leaders who invest into each other’s lives.

I know I don’t have the keys to battling mental health issues every time, but these two things, routine and doing what I love, really helped. That and starring at my newborn. She’s amazing.

In the end, it makes me wonder about God’s kingdom that’s breaking into our world. I can’t help but think that in some way routine and passions were and are the in-breaking of his kingdom into my life. They helped me get out of my funk and bring happiness. And of course… we all know that holding, smelling and talking to a newborn is definitely God’s kingdom breaking into our world.

 

Consistently In His Presence

Changes in life don’t just arrive. They either blow themselves in like a storm or plump themselves right in between the hours of our lives. Sometimes they are wanted and other times they are not. Then again, other times changes just are, neither wanted nor unwanted. Nonetheless, changes completely project themselves in our lives and in turn disrupt the pattern that has been set.

Here is my discovery. We christians attempt to place certain disciplines in our lives to help us find God, communicate with God and to generally set our minds and hearts on things above. We set a pattern a thriving in our lives and in those moments we find God and bam! we feel at peace and centred or however else you would like to say it. But, when changes a come, its disrupted and we get out of pattern. If the change lasts we can often adjust and move on. But sometimes, like a nest of ants, you just can’t get rid of it. They change nags and irritates and disrupts so much that the discipline hurts for a long time. Like prayer and reading of scripture.

How do we adjust when these major changes happen. I say this as I struggle I go through. I am on a reading plan right now. For ordination I have to read a different translation entirely and have set a course to do so. Recently, life has been disrupted by a series of events that has taken me significantly off course. Not only am I far behind on my reading plan, my silence before God to hear his voice is profoundly askew. My determination has failed me. And here I am.

What I need, A jumpstart. A jumpstart is a shout from God or from life that thrusts me into setting a pattern back up in my life. It forces me to find myself at God’s throne once again. It could be a crisis event, a simple whisper, or odd renewal of determination by me. Whatever it is, I need it. I need the Lord to break into my life to cause a jumpstart that I may consistently find myself in him.

Good ol’ Brother Lawrence is key in this concept. He understood that we must daily find God in the Mundane and everything of life. It is God we find peace and direction and we must be with him to find this. So let’s find it. Let’s strive to be quiet before God so God can show us himself in everything in life. My struggle is not my own. I am certain others have this as well. So, My prayer for us is this: Lord, show us yourself anew. Jumpstart us into consistency with you once again. Amen.